


The Best Damn Fic You Will Ever Read I Promise

by LanxBorealis



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Bad Writing, F/M, Fem!Bill, Fem!Gideon - Freeform, Satire, aka this has nothing to do with Halloween at all, and other r r r shitty ya novels, but not in the way you think, inspired by Halloween, this is a lowkey ripoff of twilight
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-02
Updated: 2016-11-01
Packaged: 2018-08-28 14:06:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8449102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LanxBorealis/pseuds/LanxBorealis
Summary: She looks out the window, and is enraptured by the mysterious boy slinking out of the woods.





	1. BillDip

**Author's Note:**

> So I was giving my friends The Spooks the other day and this is what was shitted out of that. A pair of... drabbles? Inspired by really bad YA novels. 
> 
> This first chapter is BillDip the second is Dipeon so you can choose whichever you wish to read. They are basically the same shot just names/descriptions switched out because this was exhausting to write.
> 
> I want to lie and say I didn't put effort into this but I actually did because I have no idea how people write so stiffly and weirdly in these sorts of novels. Also, on the record, I'm still disappointed in myself for not thinking about writing in first person for this. That should be Shitty Ya Novel 101!
> 
> Oh well. I hope you enjoy? Also the linebreak is switching to a completely different scene bc my friend as me to write a shitty makeout scene so it's not related to the first scene. God I hope I make sense I have a headache.

Billella was very bored in her biology class. She teased the end of her pen with her tongue, not paying attention at all to the slideshow her teacher was giving her. 

 

Besides her, her best friend Pacifica was sexting some boy she knew, giggling to herself. Pacifica was a lesbian. 

 

Billella sighed in complete and utter boredom. She lived in the small town of Gravity Falls, just west of weird, and south of anything remotely interesting. Though many seemed to find charm in the small and rustic town, Billella always found herself wanting  _ more. _

 

Adventure! Excitement! And of course, cute boys. 

 

Billella sighed sadly again. Oh, it just wasn’t fair. She just  _ had  _ to be born to a pair of parents whose highlights of the day were setting things on fire and vacuuming. Had to be born  _ alone,  _ with no siblings to help her through anything. 

 

It also didn’t help that her classmates growing up and even now weren’t fond of her. Billella was always the strange kid growing up. She never got into makeup like other girls, and could never wrap her mind around fashion. Instead of doing all those other things the cliques of girls twittered about, Billella found herself in the library, getting immersed in the works of Shakespeare. 

 

It also didn’t help that she wasn’t exactly the most flashy or pretty girl out there. Billella was no brunette or redhead. Instead she had long, golden hair like the sun that glistened in the light that hung down to her waist, as naturally straight as she was. She was short and petite compared to other girls, but had curves for days. Her face was sharp but soft- too soft in Billella’s eyes- and her skin was as pale as a vampire’s with a dash of freckles across her nose. 

 

Billella turned to stare at the window to her left. Her own, soft, gilded gold eyes that glittered like all the stars in the universe stared back at her. She sighed at her reflection, and fixed the ruffles on her yellow clothes as she stared out the window.

 

A frown found its way onto Billella’s face as she say a strange figure emerge from the forest from beyond. What was he doing in there?

 

The figure was tall- that much Billella could gather- and indeed was wearing a backpack. A new student?   
  
As he came closer to the school, Billella was able to make out his features more. He wore a blue button down shirt with simple black slacks and dress shoes- much classier than any guy she had seen at her wretched little school. His skin was pale- even paler than hers- and didn’t have a single blemish as far as she could see. His eyes were dark, and under thin, feminine brows were husky russet eyes that were like closed doors- not letting anyone inside to see what lay beyond. 

 

Billella felt a tug in her heart and heat pooled in her cheeks.

 

The stranger had the most beautiful brown hair Billella had ever laid her eyes on. It was a rich chocolate color, with natural curls that moved in perfect tandem with the flow of his thin, but still lightly muscled, body. Billella couldn't quite read his expression. The stranger’s face was sharp as a tack, with a strong and shapely jawline that could kill a man, and pink full lips. 

 

Billella was enraptured by the stranger. Who was he? Where did he come from? Why did he come from the forest? Was he a new student?

 

Billella sighed, disappointed when the stranger disappeared inside the school building. She leaned her cheek in her hand, never tearing her eyes from the window. Impatience bubbled inside her. 

 

As soon as the bell rang, she was going to find this stranger. 

 

* * *

 

 

Dipper pressed Billella against the wall, staring down at her, his eyes dark. He smirked, and slowly licked his lips.

 

Billella stared at his lips and tongue, mesmerized by it- by  _ him.  _

 

Dipper was an impossible boy with too many mysteries to count. A true enigma. Billella still couldn’t be sure if she could trust him, trust  _ this-  _ whatever  _ this  _ was.

 

But, between his arms, Billella couldn’t help but feel safe. Like the world could never touch her. Like Dipper wouldn’t allow the world to touch her, and bring her down. 

 

Dipper leaned forwards, and their noses brushed together. “Are you scared?” he murmured. 

 

Billella blinked slowly. “No,” she murmured. “No I am not.” 

 

Dipper smirked sexily, and Billella felt her heart pump harder in her chest. 

 

“You should be,” Dipper murmured. Before Billella could reply, his lips descended onto hers in a passionate kiss. 

 

Billella moaned softly as she melted completely into Dipper. The kiss was hot, trailing fire down into her stomach, and she found herself opening her mouth wide for him. 

 

Their tongues lashed against each other, battling for dominance. When Billella thought she would win, pushing back hard against Dipper, Dipper grabbed her wrists, pinning her to the wall. Billella gasped into Dipper’s mouth, and that was her undoing. Dipper dominated the kiss, completely stealing her senses away.

  
And Billella didn’t care. 


	2. Dipeon

Gideonella was very bored in her biology class. She teased the end of her pen with her tongue, not paying attention at all to the slideshow her teacher was giving her. 

 

Besides her, her best friend Pacifica was sexting some boy she knew, giggling to herself. Pacifica was a lesbian. 

 

Gideonella sighed in complete and utter boredom. She lived in the small town of Gravity Falls, just west of weird, and south of anything remotely interesting. Though many seemed to find charm in the small and rustic town, Gideonella always found herself wanting  _ more. _

 

Adventure! Excitement! And of course, cute boys. 

 

Gideonella sighed sadly again. Oh, it just wasn’t fair. She just  _ had  _ to be born to a pair of parents whose highlights of the day were selling a new old car and vacuuming. Had to be born  _ alone,  _ with no siblings to help her through anything. 

 

It also didn’t help that her classmates growing up and even now weren’t fond of her. Gideonella was always the strange kid growing up. She never got into makeup like other girls, and could never wrap her mind around fashion. Instead of doing all those other things the cliques of girls twittered about, Gideonella found herself in the library, getting immersed in the works of Shakespeare. 

 

It also didn’t help that she wasn’t exactly the most flashy or pretty girl out there. Gideonella was no brunette or redhead. Instead she had long, snow-white hair that glistened in the light that hung down to her waist, as naturally straight as she was. She was a little pudgier than the other girls, but not fat- she had curves for days. Her face was round and soft- too round and soft in Gideonella’s eyes- and her skin was as pale as a vampire’s with a dash of freckles across her nose. 

 

Gideonella turned to stare at the window to her left. Her own, soft, sky blue eyes that glittered like all the stars in the universe stared back at her. She sighed at her reflection, and fixed the ruffles on her blue clothes as she stared out the window.

 

A frown found its way onto Gideonella’s face as she say a strange figure emerge from the forest from beyond. What was he doing in there?

 

The figure was tall- that much Gideonella could gather- and indeed was wearing a backpack. A new student?   
  
As he came closer to the school, Gideonella was able to make out his features more. He wore a blue button down shirt with simple black slacks and dress shoes- much classier than any guy she had seen at her wretched little school. His skin was pale- even paler than hers- and didn’t have a single blemish as far as she could see. His eyes were dark, and under thin, feminine brows were husky russet eyes that were like closed doors- not letting anyone inside to see what lay beyond. 

 

Gideonella felt a tug in her heart and heat pooled in her cheeks.

 

The stranger had the most beautiful brown hair Gideonella had ever laid her eyes on. It was a rich chocolate color, with natural curls that moved in perfect tandem with the flow of his thin, but still lightly muscled, body. Gideonella couldn't quite read his expression. The stranger’s face was sharp as a tack, with a strong and shapely jawline that could kill a man, and pink full lips. 

 

Gideonella was enraptured by the stranger. Who was he? Where did he come from? Why did he come from the forest? Was he a new student?

 

Gideonella sighed, disappointed when the stranger disappeared inside the school building. She leaned her cheek in her hand, never tearing her eyes from the window. Impatience bubbled inside her. 

 

As soon as the bell rang, she was going to find this stranger. 

 

* * *

 

 

Dipper pressed Gideonella against the wall, staring down at her, his eyes dark. He smirked, and slowly licked his lips.

 

Gideonella stared at his lips and tongue, mesmerized by it- by  _ him.  _

 

Dipper was an impossible boy with too many mysteries to count. A true enigma. Gideonella still couldn’t be sure if she could trust him, trust  _ this-  _ whatever  _ this  _ was.

 

But, between his arms, Gideonella couldn’t help but feel safe. Like the world could never touch her. Like Dipper wouldn’t allow the world to touch her, and bring her down. 

 

Dipper leaned forwards, and their noses brushed together. “Are you scared?” he murmured. 

 

Gideonella blinked slowly. “No,” she murmured. “No I am not.” 

 

Dipper smirked sexily, and Gideonella felt her heart pump harder in her chest. 

 

“You should be,” Dipper murmured. Before Gideonella could reply, his lips descended onto hers in a passionate kiss. 

 

Gideonella moaned softly as she melted completely into Dipper. The kiss was hot, trailing fire down into her stomach, and she found herself opening her mouth wide for him. 

 

Their tongues lashed against each other, battling for dominance. When Gideonella thought she would win, pushing back hard against Dipper, Dipper grabbed her wrists, pinning her to the wall. Gideonella gasped into Dipper’s mouth, and that was her undoing. Dipper dominated the kiss, completely stealing her senses away.

 

And Gideonella didn’t care. 


End file.
